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The [bl]og of Poker


Good News

Having had to take matters into a real B&M casino in order to satisfy SuperGirl's challenge, I'm pleased to report that I've achieved fairly good levels of success, but not of the "double-the-bankroll' variety -- I'm close though, with 8 hours to go until Supergirl's flight checks in. It's going to be difficult to get to the promised land being at work and all, but you never know ... maybe I can buy a scratch-off lottery ticket and hit gold.

I'm averaging the big blind an hour and can say from my last session that there are no plays I'd have made differently in retrospect. So, that's an excellent sign as I see it -- hopefully, SuperGirl will agree. We'll find out tonight.

I'm getting the impression that I've much to learn from the online game. I might be the kind of player that needs to see, hear, feel my opponent in order to gain my full advantage -- and animated caricatures or icons don't seem to have quite the same effect. I'll offer the following example of a play which has netted me positive yields in the casinos, but heavy losses when applied online:

With position, heads-up. Flop, turn and river prove benign -- I bet representing the high card.

In the B&M table, I will only get called by a guy with 2nd top pair on board (or better). Online, any pair calls -- especially if there was a raise pre-flop.

We've all seen it ... put a guy on a bluff, check-raise, or raise to get a feel, then call it down with worse pair if necessary.

In the casino, there's this underlying shame element that's associated with 1) being a calling station, and 2) calling down a bluff with worse pair. As we all know, when a guy calls with worse pair it often comes with the following disclaiming articulation: "I knew he was bluffing".


"If you knew he was bluffing, why didn't you check-raise him?"

In the casinos, there's much more done to maintain one's poker Modus Operandi, and then carefully manage what it reveals or conceals about them. Online, people seem less worried about it. Maybe because of the inherent veil of anonymity that's fundamental to being online; maybe because they are distracted by other tasks on or offline; or maybe it's because other than having to deal with a few "OMG", "LOL" or other chatisisms, they can shirk exposure to the implication and gazes of mockery, judgment or criticism. Who knows.

Up next: SuperGirl Decides.


Sudden Exit & Depts of Interest

At last update, I had approximately $400 remaining. I worked it back close to $500 thanks to a few small pots and the penultimate installment of my Noblepoker bonus.

I've since cashed out due to the following 2 reasons:
  1. Occasionally (it happened 3 times to me), a player's graphic will exclude the bankroll total. Without seeing the chips, I've had to guess if whether or not my opponent is legit in calling or raising, without the benefit of seeing how many chips he/she has at the time. On each of the occasions, I lost the pot. So, I complained and received no explanation, compensation or apology from Noblepoker.
  2. Lack of tables concurrently in-play. There was never a 10/20HE game spread when I happen to be logged in. When one full 5/10HE did materialize, it was comprised of people often w/connection speeds slower than 128K and extremely limited class. Since I am on the West coast, most games in which I could participate were short handed, or on the way to breaking-up. If I got stuck early, it was a hole of despair out of which one could only hope to climb at a rate of 24 hands per hour, and while having to tolerate trash chatter of epic level and volume.
I've initiated a withdrawal using FirePay.

Imagine this: Per NoblePoker's withdrawal policy, they have 4 business days to begin processing the withdrawal. Then, there's a 9 day waiting period between the time I actually deposited the money to NoblePoker initially, and the time it actually "clears" -- even though I've been given credit and been granted bonuses for it.

Who knows how long Firepay will take to fund back the money, so with this complex math firmly in place, I hope to have the money by July 4th weekend.

So, how exactly will SuperGirl react to my abandoning ship so early in our "arangement"? Hard to say. I should just buy her the shoes outright and roll the dice. I'm sure SuperGirl will make concessions given the ridiculous circumstances of what life is like treading water with NoblePoker, having to take care of the Friends-Of-The-Furry-Nation, and anticipation of the Apprentice finale. We'll find out for certain on Friday.

Incidentally, SuperGirl has run into her ex-boy friend. Normally, those odds can't be any better than betting the horn/high-low, but who know? Florida's not such a big state, right? Fact, fiction or test? Not sure.

From the More time than Sense Department, here's what happens when unemployment meets a write-license-key to Acrobat.

From the Regret Department, can anyone explain why I didn't buy STARBUCKS (SBUX) stock once I commented in this very blog that they had seemingly gotten away with increasing their price of soy by over 100% ? Would have beat any Poker return in the same period.

On a related note, is there any truth to one's order at Starbucks being directly proportionate to one's assholeability? Bill Maher seems to think so --- I hope he isn't right:

"The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole.

If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grande half-soy, half-lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooh, you're a huge asshole."
For the record, my standard order is a "Grande, Soy Caramel Macchiatto with extra foam, extra hot". Tipping the scale at a whopping $4 a cup, WITHOUT TIP, I'd say I'm entitled to be however big an asshole that makes me! And why the fuck is there a tip jar at Starbucks? Kevin and his readers explore this very question.

From the Not Crazy Department, turns out that Dave Chappelle is not crazy. You decide.

From the Countdown to Episode III Department, anyone curious to know if there's a chance they will reveal who was the Jedi Sifo-Dyas (revealed in Episode II) will be disappointed. In case you are still curious, check out this explanation (includes spoilers).

And finally, from the Books to Make us more Dimensional Poker Players Department, take in a book that illustrates how bureaucracy, futility, alienation and perpetual consuming guilt is no different today as it was almost 100 years ago.


Important Observations

GOLD LEADER: I can't maneuver!
GOLD FIVE: Stay on target.
GOLD LEADER: We're too close.
GOLD FIVE: Stay on target!
GOLD LEADER: Loosen up!
GOLD FIVE: They came from behind.

In small stakes Poker, there is always someone in pursuit. It's unavoidable. In one of poker's great paradoxes , this pursuit is necessary in order to be profitable; however, if the subject of pursuit cannot fend off straight draws, flush draws or the ultimate anal probe that is the low-pair on the board pairing-up, then he'll suffer a fate much worse than a bad actor in an X-Wing cockpit.

When you play 5-10H/E, there is no compensation for bad or no luck. It is impossible. No skill in the world can overcome it. Enter the argument professing how in the long run, the bad and good luck tie one another up. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Hard to know being so young and stupid. But here's something: What if long term episodes of bad luck extend past one's own lifetime? In poker, is there really such a thing as a large enough sample size of hands to gage the type of luck one might expect to have had and anticipate in a given lifespan? I don't know.

Long term eh? Well, how's this for another philosophical consideration:
What if you happen to miss the game in which someone does catch their flush card that fills your boat? What if you fold the winning small blind hand with which you would have earned back a portion of those bad beats you took? What if you go smoke that cigarette or choose to eat your Mongolian Beef at the precise time you would have cracked a 4-of-a-kind with your straight flush? What if posting your big and small blind instead of waiting for it would have scored a huge pot with 9-2off.

Long term assumes that you play ever second of every day. Long term is apathetic to where in position you get to be dealt your A-6off. Long term is disaffected by position, pot-odds and loose cannons. Numbers hold up eventually. I have no doubt. But not necessarily in accordance to when you are actually seated and in a given hand. Somehow there's a pervasive perpetuation of the idea that "long term" equates to "redemption of skill". The casinos, yielding their relentless rake on & offline will gladly support whatever system we've rationalized for ourselves, helping us along with asinine bonuses, free parking, free drinks, comped rooms -- anything to ease the belief in this fairy tale of a system with one ATM/FirePay withdrawal after another.

As I reflect enviously back at my bankroll which sat earlier this morning at $900, (now at $436), I can't help but think that without a sustained drip of good luck and a ferocious antidote from bad luck, I might as well be playing roulette.

Ignoring the echoes I hear from Gold Leader telling me to "loosen up", I use whatever's left of my senses, my faith in statistics, and my distaste for variance to "stay on target" and blow the shit out of that fucking exhaust port.


Progress...SuperGirl return t-6 days and counting... Posted by Hello


The Score Posted by Hello

It's bird! It's a plane! No... it's... Posted by Hello

... the Tush TAO of SuperGirl!

Could she? Did she? ... Yes! In a divine gesture of good will and partly in giddy celebration of Las Vegas' Centennial, SuperGirl has allowed this shot to emerge on these here pages, foreshadowing (or backshadowing) what could be a (better?) glimpse of things to come, should I manage to double my bankroll.

I know what your thinking... What is the bankroll at damm it?? A harbinger as tempting as this image certainly needs more exploration of the fine print. I'll post image representation once I'm sure all bonuses have been correctly tabulated.

Challenge and other trivialities

SuperGirl has been watching me ... carefully. She sees that I'm arriving to bed later and later. She's not SuperGirl for nothing - her supersenses tell her that I'm neck-high in the pursuit of Poker glory, whereas RegularGirl would suspect a covert cultivation of an obsession with porn.

In the last few days, there's been little talk about gains and losses; she's asked how I've been doing in placement terms, knowing that the lower the number the better the result. What she's been thinking is that finishing 20th for example, is still somewhat profitable; she's under this mis-impression because when we watch archived TIVO copies of the WSOP, she sees people finishing in similar positions doing so with handsome rewards.

I told her last night that I'm stuck over $500 investing in tournament entries and rebuys. Though I'm still "up" from B&M and online ring games, the "what-have-you-won-for-me-lately" creed has insiduously crept into effect. SuperGirl, wearing the beautifully fitted Lucky jeans heretofore financed by ring game mastery long forgotten, issues the following edict:
"I'm going to Florida (for SuperBusiness). I'll be back Friday. If you can double your online balance, or win a tournament that nets you more than the cost of my belt, I will let you post a full picture of me wearing -- or not wearing -- anything you choose, provided your winnings include the subsidization and photo inclusion of these.
Well, h-o-l-y-s-h-i-t. SuperGirl might as well have invoked the Jedi ghost of Vince Lombardi with that challenge, 'cause after that pronouncement, I was all business. We checked the online balance and sealed the deal in SuperGirl fashion -- a kiss, and a left handed pinky shake.

I've got lots of work ahead of me -- including sharing some of these thoughts:

After considerable thought, and some blog insight courtesy of HDouble (aka CardSpeak), I think my early position over-the-top re-raise (all-in) with wired 6's against pocket Q's was a poor decision. I think he pretty much sums it up perfectly with:

"...so most of the time the only time we're called here is if we're beat..."


Off-Poker topic, though in the gambling realm of discussion, my hopes, along with those of other like minded monkeys here at the factory of dread, are pinned on the one-outter call of a lifetime, hoping that we can collectively touch the hand of Bishamon, and win over 100 million dollars.

Small Stakes

From the "anything is possible" department, there is at least one guy dispelling the myth that the 2-4 H/E game is unbeatable -- I suppose his familiarity with 9-2 offsuit doesn't hurt!


"Please listen carefully as our menu items have changed"...

Can anyone please offer a reasonable explanation to this "Coalition of the Automated"? It's really phenomenal that so many of America's businesses can unite is such stoic and consistent synthesis to change incoming call menu items at intervals, incredibly, aligned with my particular need to call! I'll just resign it to twighlight zone fodder, and instead continue to pray that dialing zero maintains a direct connection to a non-outsourced operator.

Think the Phoenix area is expensive for real estate? Think again.

Up Next: The Tush TAO of SuperGirl?!!



Congrats to BigPirate on winning the prestigious WPBT WSOP Qualifier. For a daily TAO perspective, I'm sure you know where to go.

I so wish I'd have finished stronger -- I think the whole night was doomed. After my early completion of the tournament, I played some 5/10HE with some of the Noble riffraff. Nothing eventful except winning a huge stack from a guy who kept betting his flush into my full house.

After some parlaying some poorly directed aggression into a $50 loss, I sought a single table tournament to resuscitate my confidence. I won (see below). Needless to say, I splurged on a HappyMeal (supersized on principle) with over 100% of my proceeds.

Not surprisingly, I still feel like shit.

Up Next: SuperGirl's Good news/Bad news routine.

There can be only ONE ! Posted by Hello


Must...rebuild ... Confidence ...

Ok... Nothing worse than being knocked out 70'ish place of a tournament in which only 81 people are registered, but about which all are likely to publish, reference and/or mock in some narrative capacity or another across the entire WWW.

This was my great opportunity to get a loyal readership interested in more than just scandalous glimpses into SuperGirl's wardrobe adventures.

So, I must regain my online Cred. To the tournament trail I go.

Speaking of scandalous... SuperGirl hasn't yet flown back in from killing bad intentioned guys, so stay tuned because you don't want to miss SuperGirl's reaction (though I may want to), which will be captured digitally IF AND ONLY IF I achieve tournament glory! Glory will henceforth be subjective.

A bien-tot!

Next to the BlogFather Himself...when times were hopeful, dreams were colorful, and bankrolls were intact! Posted by Hello


Ok... why am I updating this blog at this time of this day ??

Because I was knocked out of the WPBT tournament by TuscaloosaJohnny, who reckoned aloud that my raise seemed a touch high. Don't know about you, but that's typically the kind of analysis I often like to dispense to my victim after winning pretty big pots.

Who knows.. maybe there'll be a consolation prize to the blogger who can update their blog the quickest after getting wacked.

Anyway, the offending raise of which he spoke was about 20% of my stack with wired 6's (around $250). He re-raised $500 on the button with wired Q's. I went all-in and he naturally called. Flop looked very ordinary... AND oh, and did I mention the fucking Queen that appeared on the flop with no out or hope in sight for a break-you-heart miracle runner runner ??!!

Yeah, well, maybe it was too big a bet, maybe it wasn't. It's already forgotten and I'm in no left minded mood to post any self-serving pix of glory gone awry from tournaments past. From now on, I will only post Victory (SuperGirl excluded)!

On a fun note, I did get seated to Iggy's right and witness a great 72Off bluff take down the blinds and a caller. Kudos.

Calm Before the Storm

... ok ... Before I illustrate what happens when arrogance, a false sense of skill, and bad luck collide, let me begin this post by sharing my furor about Starbucks raising (no pun intended) their price for Soy milk by over 100% !!

Is it not enough to pay ridiculous premiums for frothed milk, syrups and a few ounces of coffee? Are we not inconvenienced enough by having to wait up to 15 minutes for the servicing of this product? Must we absorb the costs of Soy commodity increases and inflated stock price?

I guess since I'm a raging addict whose sole source of nourishment in the morning comes courtesy of a Gay Starbucks Barista nearby, the answer is a painful "no". I'll have to chalk it up to having to earn another big blind an hour.


The streak factor in online tournaments requires some examination. Because the shuffle *appears* to produce such deliberately precise randomness, it's seemingly more difficult to "finish" someone on account of sensing that it's simply not their day.

In B&M poker rooms, when you sense a guy's having a bad session, or when it seems that you have the PIN code to a guy's ATM card, regardless of how few outs exist, you or someone else at the table can usually put him away. He might ask for a change of deck, dealer or underwear and it won't make a significant difference.

We've all been able to tap into this force from time to time; however, online, that randomness is impervious to manipulation, straddle or anticipation.

This has far reaching consequences, notable among them, my eventual demise in the last tournament. I attibute this to the aformentioned phenomenon of which ample illustration is forthcoming.

Top of the world! Posted by Hello


Told you it was SuperGirl Posted by Hello


Sidebar about Noble

While you register using Iggy's link, you might be solicited by a rogue customer rep manifesting herself via a standard web chat interface (to help with cold feet no doubt), enticing you further to register by offering a $10 "limited time" bonus. The moral here is to take your time in registering; the "bonus angel" will appear before you know it.

By the way, here is some of the fine print regarding the vesting plan of the 100% bonus, which in its current form, ends May 31st :

They have a chart which shows the number of "Crowns" (how noble indeed) you earn while in combat. The maximum is 3 crowns (limits => 1-2$) for each hand you actually play in any ring game.

So, if a player deposits $50 intially upon his registration, $50 will be the maximum claimable deposit bonus, paid in installments of $10 for each 125 Crowns a player earns. If a player earns 250 Crowns in one day, he will receive a bonus of $20. Additional bonus payments will be paid for every 125 Crowns earned until the player has received the entire matching $50 bonus.

You have 4 months to complete accumulation and collection of your bonus in this manner before it withers up and joins the black hole of retailer gift cards issued during Christmas.

Remember, registering with Iggy's links qualifies your upper bound bonus limit to 500$ instead of the $300 mere mortals receive from other sources.

Unrelated and Random

Being new to this exercise, I wanted to give credit to Iggy for helping me get some of the basics down to Blogdom "fame and fortune", and (as Anthony reminded me) unknowingly allowing me to steal fellow Poker Blogger links off his page (though I haven't yet been through all of them, if they are worthy enough for Iggy, they are most certainly good enough for me).

I will make a dedicated effort in the upcoming week to visit all "my" links and re-order them such that they are more relative to my own experiences and references. Speaking of Iggy, if any of you are interested here's a very great deal per his blog if you haven't yet obtained an account with Noble Poker:

As extra incentive to sign up with this harried blogger, Noble is offering a
100% deposit bonus up to $500 with [Igg's] links. It's usually only $300, but because they humped [his] leg so hard, they decided to make a special offer and allow [his] readers to get an extra bounty on their deposit.

Some thoughts on doing business on eBay:

  • Shipping is becoming a racket. It's out of control. Look, I don't mind paying for something of value, but when it comes to paying a premium for a 'necessity', I'm a lunatic -- much the same way as I am with having to pay for parking, tipping the Maitre D at the end of a cruise, paying for "misc. shop supplies" at the Jiffy Lube, et al. Paying for shipping makes me sick. I understand if I'm only buying one item, ok, charge me to ship the one item what it costs you, but let's make sure it's reasonable -- shipping should not be part of the profit margin. A few dollars isn't going to kill me, especially if it's paying for the convenience of home delivery. But charging me more than 5-10% per item, with "handling" (as though the handling is so intricate that it requires additional costs to maintain this exceptional massaging devoted to the item I wish to buy) and/or by weight is nonsense. Pass that cost on to someone else, hell, make the item more expensive if you have to online. Unless the inventory is being given away, as far as I'm concerned, the onus of shipping should fall square on the shoulders of the seller. Outside of eBay, I refuse to do business with any online retailer who doesn't have some type of shipping discount, coupon or like-promotion. In a nod to mob-like business practices, sellers are charging a ridiculously inflated price for shipping and manage to conceal the actual price of the shipment using an online service which prints the shipping label without the cost. Were I the entrepreneurial type, I'd follow Amazon's new formula and create a business that offers "all-you-can-ship" services for chronic or frequent eBay buyers so that they pay one fee per year. All the shipping would be handled by this 3rd party whose business model would include the coordination of all shipment from eBay sellers who'd offer along side their payment options, a variety of shipping options including the "all-you-can-ship" selection to their buyers. Scammers wishing to continue jacking-up shipping costs would lose competitive volume since buyers who'd subscribe to this service would seek out sellers featuring this interesting method of shipment. It could be the shipping arm of eBay, just like PayPal has become its finance arm. Just a thought.
  • Feedback needs to be mandatory. You should be kept from browse or listing items after logging on should you owe feedback. Furthermore, feedback needs to include a column which shows 1) how many business hours and days pass between auction end date, and payment posting.

Some thoughts the WPT:

Quite the win from the Philosophy major who won a WPT event this week. Millions of aspiring players -- those still flush with impenetrable enthusiasm and "shatter-proof" bankrolls -- are naively hollowed with the belief that hitting 2 big open ended draws up against made hands to become a millionaire is something pedestrian. The tour doesn't show all the players from the busted field that had those very same sentiments. We know the math, but the math has to coincide with truly impeccable timing which in my experience is rare. "Descartes" made some interesting plays (no question, the re-raise against Mizrachi was a very nice read and move), but without hitting either straight against Daniel, then Chau, he's likely as mortal as they come out of Wisconsin.

Is it coincidental or did Mike Sexton make a conscious decision to mold his TV persona after the WWF's Vince Mcmahon? He does have some great insight from time to time. Other than his irrational and unimpetuous arm movements and his reference to the "as we say" line, the one thing that bugs me the most is when a Pro gets knocked out, he suggests it's the cards or bad luck, but when an Amateur gets knocked out, it's because he's overmatched.


Bad Timing

Let me first start by offering thanks to the few of you who've left encouraging feedback. It's most appreciated.

Where we were? Right! Once SuperGirl's 'expectations' were realigned, we sat platonically, logged-in and registered for a PokerStars.com tournament. This was of the $3+ variety whose top winners would get seats into larger tournaments, eventually to win a seat in the WSOP.

Fortunately, this concept was lost on SuperGirl and so winning this tournament, or at least getting to the final table would serve convincingly that I bear the minimum levels of Poker Mediclorines (is it May 19th yet??) to destroy the mortal competition.

And so it begins. Good cards, good results, good vibes. It's a Disney movie and I'm the star. Good luck and winning seems to cultivate an uncanny circumstance of biased reflection and philosophy: My impressions of online tournaments are limited to the one I'm playing in right now! I see that most people revel in associating their poker handles with icons of their dogs, kids, or sports/movie symbols. I can't help but notice that at the tables at which I happen to be assigned, the amazingly inconspicuous lack of poker skill of a given player can be correlated to the likelihood of having an image of themselves, their Pomeranian (or other similarly annoying dog), or some freakishly miniaturized "vast" Midwest landscape. Conversely, seems the talented players use images conveying some rudimentary understanding of Photoshop, a fascination with apocalyptic or KGB Teddy-like themes, or any cursory interest in the Simpsons or SouthPark.

I'll look forward to your comments when you see what I've chosen.

I slash, cut and pillage my way to 1st place (70k in chips), with 47 players out of 163 remaining and 4x the average stack. Once I can figure out how to import a screen shot to this mess, I'll do it. I mix up my play, bluff occasionally, use my stack effectively. Get my share of good cards and exploit them as expected and perfectly. I don't get drawn into any wars and play a solid game, picking on the small stacks and avoiding chasing down false glory to medium sized stacks.

I'm confident. I sense SuperGirl is hyper-interested now -- but I think she has it in her head still that the 70K in chips equates to 70K greenbacks to do with as we please. No matter. If this is what it takes, it's a concept I'm in no hurry to clarify.

What follows is not the stuff of legends. It is most certainly not going to make me the object of SuperGirl's, flush-with-cash desires! It is the stuff of nightmares and distraction and esteem draining matter. I might as well change my handle image to that of a portrait of me in front of the Grand Canyon with all three of our dogs smiling idiotically though we're made of wax.

I just stopped getting cards. Just like that, I went from blessed to cursed. For the remainder of the tournament, I couldn't back-up a bluff with anything and lost my credibility, aura and stack. Instead, I was ravaged and left for a stream of vincibility and softness.

If I got royalty, it was a Jack, and it came with a 4 or lower. I had no pocket pairs and anything connected went unsuited and no higher than 8.

The ultimate winner of the tournament, who had been in 11th position at the time of my prtSr with around 23K in chips, went on a mad rush. Raised everything and stopped getting called. When he did, he had the goods.

Finally, down to 2 tables, when I got KQd it looked like the best hand I'd ever see again, and thus an all-in proposition if ever there was one. I run into "Electronutz" and his pocket QQ's. No sign of a straight, diamond or King anywhere on the flop, turn and river that came.

I could have been playing with 4 cards in my hand, none would have been on the flop. "Good night, thanks for spending 4 hours of your time with us; have a Frequent Player point on your way out."

I'm out in 13th place. Kicking myself for allowing the 20K's through 40K's to (use your best Russian accent> "hanging around", I look at SuperGirl for support but she has turned vomit green at the thought of having pissed away over 70K in what she still thinks is valid currency. I quickly go to Defcom3 and extinguish the pain. We do a brief recap, and analysis. I try to provide this analysis in the most self-serving flattering way, such that it will reflect well upon me, and sustain the necessary support needed to "go pro" so to say.

BUT, in what I can only guess is a wink from the powers-that-be, SuperGirl says: "When is the next one? I think I should play".

Up next: Pinch me.


Will you put something on?? I have the nuts! Posted by Hello


Pandora Averted

Nothing spells relief quite like compromise. Seeing what SuperGirl had in mind with respect to hair, make-up and wardrobe choices for the casino, I immediately had second through fourth thoughts, and proposed instead that she ride shotgun at my laptop, watching me in action (at PokerStars.com) compete in a satellite tournament for a seat at the WSOP.

I didn't want to stroll into the casino and have SuperGirl in full superhero regalia, exposing her majestic exquisiteness to the red Kryptonite that is the casino poker room. I wanted to save her from the company of unkept leather-asses, soiling the community stock of chips and cards with hands that been to the bathroom, the seafood special, the cashier and the cracker-jack box of their respective noses without seeing so much as one visit through a rinse cycle or two.

Though she could not put on her dancing shoes, she could remain in her cute 'Sunday morning attire' (picture forthcoming) without worrying about unholy gazes of wretched envy she'd most certainly attract in the casino. So, while waiting for her to 'debrief' and change back into more humble dress, I register for a 27+R$ satellite tournament scheduled to start within 40 mins.

On the recommendation of the patron saint of Uber Blogs I take some time to figure out how the hell to modify my Blog template to include links to other fine bloggers of the Poker community. I manage to figure out a barbaric approach to it, and though it's not at all formatted the way I'd hoped, it's a first step I'm pleased to have negotiated without causing harm to my head, the wall or my laptop.

SuperGirl arrives with about 5 minutes to spare before the tournament, looking as delicious as ever, and takes her seat right on my lap!

Under any other circumstance (except for maybe Mother's Day), this would be a precursor to being an intimate witness of the essence of SuperGirl's superness; h-o-w-e-v-e-r, since I will not often have an opportunity to show her my Poker muscles (and thus support the case for my longer term Poker ambitions), it's of colossal importance that my play be pure of thought, and remain abstinent of any fruit from any fucking tree of SuperGirl's orchard of enticing and mystical pleasures.

As I lift and relocate her divine back end to fend for itself on a separate chair, that stubborn part of me that remains 17 years old shrieks in horror, lambasting me for passing up on this "sure thing". I tell that 17 year old to shut up, jerk-off, and let me play Poker!... Alas, I have gotten old haven't I?

Next: Bad timing!